We Call It Normal, but It’s Not

Many men can be remarkably condescending, perhaps among the most condescending creatures God created, if he exists. This may be a controversial topic, but it's been a while since I've shared something provocative, so why not?

Over the past year, I've observed and reflected deeply, and the more I've paid attention, the more convinced I've become of how challenging women's lives truly are.

Before you assume this will be some stereotypical feminist rant and skip over it, please hear me out, it's not. I'm not labeling myself a feminist, but certain things have caught my attention.

Every day, we're exposed to various forms of media, memes, reels, jokes, and inevitably, at least one out of five jokes tends to be about women. These jokes are often sexist and degrading, with men happily commenting and validating them. Interestingly, even when a joke targets men, the comments often twist it back to belittle women. It's as if women can never truly "win."

Some might think this issue is specific to our current generation due to the rise of social media, but it's not. Even before social media platforms like Facebook or Orkut existed, magazines frequently published jokes that demeaned women. Social media has simply made these attitudes more visible and perhaps more aggressive.

But this piece isn't just about jokes or memes, it's about broader societal attitudes I've observed over time.

For instance, people often link women directly with money, perpetuating the stereotype that women are only interested in wealthy men. However, my experience tells a very different story. Most women I know are incredibly successful, hardworking, and driven, often surpassing men.

My mother, independent and remarkable; my sisters, independent and professionally accomplished; my girlfriend, cousin, and one of my closest friends, all are inspirational examples of women rising from conservative backgrounds to positions of success.

As a man, I've rarely faced significant restrictions, yet my sisters were always told to return home early for their safety. My parents were protective for good reason, given society's realities. One friend's parents were so conservative that they initially prevented her from working in another city, yet she fought through that restriction and achieved great success.

Generally, men face fewer constraints, yet many still act as if the world revolves around them. I've often seen men casually insult women online or offline, calling them degrading names without hesitation or justification. "Slut" seems to be men's preferred insult, thrown around carelessly without understanding its profound impact. How often do we see women casually using words specifically attacking a man's character in such a derogatory way?

If a man cheats on his partner, he's often celebrated or even admired by peers. If a woman discovers her partner cheating, she's blamed and labeled negatively. Statistically speaking, men cheat more often than women, yet somehow women bear the brunt of judgment.

Recently, I saw a meme equating female independence with creating content on OnlyFans. The implication was clear: women choosing independence must resort to selling their bodies. Ironically, the reason platforms like OnlyFans thrive is due to the hypocrisy of men who publicly shame women but privately support such content. This double standard is baffling.

Another disturbing issue is workplace discrimination. Many people resist working under female leadership or intentionally deprive women of professional opportunities. Harassment in workplaces, unwanted advances, constant attention, and discomfort, is far more common than society acknowledges

Even everyday tasks like shopping or walking through a mall can become uncomfortable experiences for women subjected to unwanted stares or advances. Some men even boldly approach married or committed women, yet it's women who face judgment.

Jokes like the "dishwasher" stereotype, implying women belong in the kitchen, further perpetuate harmful gender roles. Imagine reversing such jokes and targeting men. The backlash would be immediate and severe, highlighting the hypocrisy.

Perhaps the most troubling aspect is how women have internalized these behaviors to the point where some don't realize how unacceptable they are, sometimes even laughing along or tolerating such disrespect. Women who recognize and challenge these attitudes are quickly dismissed or attacked as feminists, facing severe backlash.

Why is society so threatened by women's empowerment? Pay attention, and you'll notice daily occurrences of subtle yet damaging remarks aimed at women, remarks women have learned to quietly endure.

Sadly, this issue isn't isolated, it's pervasive among many men I know, including my cousins and even my best friends. Social gatherings consistently reinforce these harmful stereotypes. As a man myself, perhaps I've unknowingly participated, influenced by the inherently misogynistic environment we've all grown up in

Though I'm cautious about labeling it a "feminist issue," this seems to be the only logical conclusion I can draw from my observations.

Something is very, very wrong. And we keep calling it ‘normal.’

By Nin Nin